Original interview by DOUGBROCK
Retranslated to English for the general public by Sinking Fish
Original interview upload: January 29, 2023
Quick Links:
- Part 1: The Early Years
- Part 2: Taking the Leap
- Part 3: Rain-Soaked Dreams
- Part 4: Going Up with the Boys
- Part 5: The Rocksta Mentality
- Part 6: Tasting Success with SB19
- Part 7: Future-Proofing and Taking Risks
- Part 8: Keeping an Open Mind
- Part 9: Closing Thoughts
DOUGBROCK Radio Episode #89 Part 3 – SB19 Ken Audition
Dougbrock: Right, you just arrived from the province.
Felip: I had just arrived from the province, and I had nowhere else to stay. I knocked on the door [and she exclaimed] “Oh, why are you here?!” I said, “Can I maybe sleep here, even if it’s just for a month?” So she probably felt sorry for me and was compelled to agree.
Dougbrock: When was this? Did you arrive in the morning?
Felip: I arrived in the morning because my flight was around 6 or 7, arriving at approximately 7:30 AM. Then, I traveled from the airport to Santa Mesa…
Dougbrock: It was just close by.
Felip: It was just close by, about an hour away. So I arrived around 9 AM, still in the morning. I think it was a Saturday because they were all still sleeping, not having any obligations like school. She said, “Why are you here?!” I said, “Maybe it would be okay if I lived here, Auntie? Even just for a month?” She didn’t respond at first. I’m telling you, she actually stared at the floor first. And I brought a sack of rice with me.
Dougbrock: She really stared at the floor first!
Felip: She really stared at the floor!
Dougbrock: Okay, and you had a sack of rice for your 1 month stay.
Felip: Yes, all because of my grandma! I don’t know why, but she told me to bring rice. So there I was, carrying a sack of rice to the airport. Can you imagine how embarrassing that was? And I wasn’t that experienced in traveling yet. I didn’t even know there were trolleys. So I was just dragging the half sack of rice along with me.
Dougbrock: Through the whole airport?!
Felip: Yes, it was so embarrassing!
Dougbrock: I mean, you just really didn’t know at that time.
Felip: I didn’t know. Anyway, she really stared at the floor. Then she looked at me. “Okay… come in…” You could tell it felt forced. And then, at that time, I assumed my role in the house.
Dougbrock: You were helping out, of course. As an overstaying guest.
Felip: I was helping out, and I felt the need to go the extra mile.
Dougbrock: Try to get along.
Felip: Yes, I aimed to be pleasant to be around. So I’d wake up at 5 AM, cook rice, and prepare breakfast because her kid had school. I would also drop her kid off…
Dougbrock: You’re helping out your cousin.
Felip: Yes, I’d drop her kid off, who was studying in elementary school. I’d drop [the kid] off in the morning and pick up in the afternoon. Drop off, pick up, go home, then it was my turn to leave for training. It was like that.
Dougbrock: Ah, okay, so you guys didn’t have a house, just training at first.
Felip: Yeah, the only thing they provided us with was some allowances for transportation and some food. Our allowances were just enough for a day, covering food and transportation expenses. It was very challenging. And here’s a story: at the house, there’s not enough space. So I slept on the floor. I only had a banig (local term for a handwoven mat). You know what that is?
Dougbrock: Yeah yeah, describe what a banig is.
Felip: It’s like a woven- coconut leaves, I think? It was made out of coconut leaves. That’s all I had.
Dougbrock: You guys know those hand fans shaped like Manila hemp? It’s like that, but as a sleeping mat.
Felip: Yes it’s like that, those hand fans but as a large sleeping mat. Actually, it’s similar to this size.
Dougbrock: Yes, banig. You just roll it up.
Felip: So that’s what I slept on. And it was perfect timing because it was June, I believe when the rainy season starts. And it was also time to renovate the house. For them, they had a bedroom with a roof. I was outside, sleeping in the living room. It was really small, and the chairs were just straight wood, you know? Not comfortable. I think it was half of this. So it was really just meant for sitting, not for lying down.
Dougbrock: Not a couch, yes.
Felip: So I slept under the chair on the ground.
Dougbrock: That’s where you’d set up for sleep.
Felip: That’s where I’d set up. Every time after washing the dishes, I’d set up [my sleeping area] and then sleep. Then, my Auntie said, “We’re renovating the house, so move all the things inside.”
Dougbrock: Inside the bedroom with the roof.
Felip: Yes, so the bedroom got even smaller. And, of course, I would’ve been embarrassed to sleep in there with them. So I had to endure through everything. They removed the roof to replace it with a new one. They were changing things to iron because it was an old apartment; they had issues like termites, and stuff like that.
Dougbrock: They really had to renovate it, replaced with iron.
Felip: So June came, the rainy season. It would be around 2 AM, and suddenly it would rain. I’d be sleeping, roll over, and find everything wet. The place would start flooding.
Dougbrock: Because there’s no roof!
Felip: No roof. So I’d get up, grab my pillow— it was really a race. My banig would already be wet. I’d just stand there like this, with my pillow. I’d be too embarrassed to knock on the bedroom door. So I’d just stand by the door.
It’s actually funny to think about now. Then, I’d put my pillow in the closet. After that, I’d get the dustpan, just the dustpan, and use it to scoop the water out until morning, since it would keep raining.
Dougbrock: So you’d be soaking wet, and get no sleep.
Felip: I was truly soaking wet. There was no roof where I slept. When I lay down, I could see the stars and moon. So yeah, I’d hold my pillow and stand there like, “What am I going to do?”
Dougbrock: This was in 2017?
Felip: This was in 2017, wait no, 2018.
Dougbrock: June 2018.
Felip: Or was it 2017? Yeah, it was back in 2017. Because we debuted in 2018. So yeah. I was starting to feel bad for myself. I thought, “Can I really do this? I’m already overstaying, plus I have nowhere to sleep.”
Dougbrock: In the province, you had a bedroom?
Felip: In the province, yeah, I had my own bedroom.
Dougbrock: In Manila, it was a different situation.
Felip: I really had to endure, considering I was only there because I bet on myself.
Dougbrock: Yeah, exactly. Amazing.
Felip: I stopped my studies to pursue this opportunity. I only had my last exam left, and I still didn’t finish it, just to escape [my life there]. My mom and dad didn’t know I escaped. None of my family knew, including my aunt whom I surprised at the front door. I knocked, [she went] “Who is it?!” “It’s Ken!”
I had to endure. So, yeah. I’d be soaked.
Dougbrock: They didn’t wake up the whole time?
Felip: No. They were sound asleep, man. Since they were inside.
Dougbrock: That’s true. Doesn’t matter if it’s cold or raining.
Felip: Yeah, they were sound asleep. And me, I didn’t want to knock. So afterwards, around 5am, I’d start cooking, time for school drop off.
Dougbrock: What, so it’s like you’d rinse, dry off, and start cooking?
Felip: Yeah, I’d just dry off like nothing happened.
Dougbrock: Good thing the kitchen had a cover.
Felip: Yes, there was a cover.
Dougbrock: It was really just the living room, where you were staying, that [didn’t have a roof].
Felip: There was just a cover for the stove. When the rain stopped, you’d just remove the cover, and start cooking again. So after cooking, my little cousin would get ready, and I’d drop her off.
Then I’d get ready, and go to training. Then, of course, it was difficult with the allowance that was just enough for food and transportation. So I really had nothing.
Dougbrock: Where was your training?
Felip: In Makati.
Dougbrock: So from Santa Mesa, everyday you were going to Makati?
Felip: Yes, everyday.
Dougbrock: How many hours was the training?
Felip: Nine hours. Nine hours or more… singing, dancing. It depended on whether we had an event or not. Especially when we had an event, we would stay until early morning. Then when I got home, I’d still need to wash the dishes and do general cleaning before going to sleep.
Then it would rain again! And the same thing would happen. Again and again, I think it was like that for months. I endured that kind of situation.
Dougbrock: Respect, man!
Felip: I really made it work, [I] survived! It was unbelievable.
Dougbrock: And it became worth it, right?
Felip: Super worth it!
Dougbrock: Okay, sure, let’s get back to it.
Felip: And one more thing! While we were training, it was super difficult because I was with other trainees, it wasn’t just me.
They only had to select one [more] member. So [imagine] my anxiety! “What if I don’t get accepted? I’ll get a job over here, over there.” So I already had backup plans.
Dougbrock: Wait, let me understand. Josh and them, they were already in. And they were just taking one more. Their 5th. Then how many of you were training?
Felip: There were 3 of us. It used to be 4, narrowed down to 3.
Dougbrock: There were 4 of you competing at first? You gambled, and your chance was only 25%?
Felip: Yeah, man.
Dougbrock: And your last week of exams, you didn’t go to?
Felip: I mean, there were a lot more trainees in the beginning. The process involved submitting a video, from which they would select candidates.
So I was chosen, got summoned to Manila, and there was another evaluation. This evaluation period lasted for two months and that’s it. It was time for graduation, you could say.
So it came to the last audition. We underwent a thorough assessment, including singing, performing, and learning choreography. Then we performed. When we finished, only three of us remained.
So they called us to the conference room, oh my god! My anxiety was through the roof! I’ll never forget it.
Dougbrock: The most nerve-racking part.
Felip: This was the time when I acted super arrogant.
Dougbrock: Why?
Read PART 4 here.