DOUGBROCK Interview Part 2 - Felip in Manila

Original interview by DOUGBROCK
Retranslated to English for the general public by Sinking Fish
Original interview upload: January 29, 2023

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DOUGBROCK Radio Episode #89 Part 2 – Taking the Leap: Felip in Manila

Dougbrock: Okay, going back.

Felip: Going back, that’s where I was first exposed to music. Throughout high school, I always had a guitar with me.

Dougbrock: We’re dead!

Felip: I’m sure a lot of people can relate. I brought a guitar with me, then started playing and singing. And when there were events, they’d invite me to perform. For example, during intramurals, there were talent shows— 1st years vs. 4th years, stuff like that. So I joined them.

Dougbrock: Talent shows.

Felip: Yes, talent shows. And when puberty hit, my voice got deeper.

Dougbrock: This was in high school.

Felip: Yes, it was when I lost confidence. [I’d ask myself] “Huh, what happened to my voice?”

Dougbrock: Your Adam’s apple grew.

Felip: Yes, something like that. I’d wonder why my voice would crack at a certain range. I’d remember how I could [easily] sing the song before, but I could no longer do so.

So I lost my confidence [in singing]. That’s when I started hating the depth of my voice. I didn’t like it. I stopped playing music then, since I refused to sing.

Dougbrock: You couldn’t reach the notes you wanted.

Felip: Yeah! Growing up, I loved to sing gospel songs, right? I was able to reach the high notes— especially when the vocalists were women. I could reach those [high notes] before.

And then in high school, I realized that my voice was changing— it got deeper, and I was disappointed that I could no longer do the things I could before.

Dougbrock: So you stopped.

Felip: Yes, I stopped. Then I went to college in Cagayan de Oro (CDO).

Dougbrock: Okay, so from Zamboanga to CDO.

Felip: From Zamboanga to, what’s it called?

Dougbrock: Surigao? Marawi is close by. Iligan, right?

Felip: Have you been there before?

Dougbrock: Yes, of course.

Felip: Wow, when? It’s like 2 hours away from our place.

Dougbrock: I love Mindanao, man.

Felip: Then yeah, I studied. Then I-

Dougbrock: So you went to college in CDO?

Felip: Yes, that’s where I went to college, CDO. Only for the 1st year, I think.

Dougbrock: Wait, I need to ask. From elementary- [So] you were making music, continued to sing in high school, started bringing a guitar, formed friendships, the phrases “Let’s make a band” were popular at that age— those were the conversations. And then, your voice suddenly got deep.

Felip: My voice got deep.

Dougbrock: You stopped doing music. What did you [then] do in college?

Felip: I danced.

Dougbrock: That was your art in college.

Felip: Yes, I danced. Well, [it started] in high school. That time I stopped singing, I switched to dancing. Because, I lost confidence. So whenever I got invited to sing at an event at school, I would make up excuses and run off. I refused to attend anything that had to do with foundation [day].

Dougbrock: I feel like it’s because— sorry— back then, we had this, what do you call it? Mindset—that good singers are those who could reach high notes. You had to be a belter.

Felip: Yes, that was the standard before.

Dougbrock: Before, yes. But now, artists with lower vocal range, who could make amazing music, are starting to gain recognition. Like KZ, right? But anyways, going back. You started dancing…

Felip: Yes, I started dancing [in high school]. And continued it in college. Joined groups. Basically in college, there were different groups. There were groups for dancers and groups for musicians—playing guitar, piano.

So I did both at the same time. I tried [singing] again, because I met someone who always had a guitar with them at school.

“Bro, play something.” I would say. So then we would sing. [So yeah] I started singing again. Then he said, “Yo, the timbre of your voice is really nice.” And I said, “Huh? How would it be nice? It’s deep.” He said, “No, because that kind of voice is so rare.”

So after that, I became curious about what made my deep voice appealing [to them]. Because there was the mentality, like you said, that you had to be a belter to have a nice voice. This was the mindset I grew up with.

Anyway, since then, we were always together.

Dougbrock: This was in 1st year?

Felip: Yes, 1st year in college. We were joined at the hip and had gotten really close. So we started an acoustic band.

Dougbrock: How many members?

Felip: There was a beatboxer with the cajon, there was rhythm, and lead. Purely acoustic. We mostly played serenades. Ezra Band [was popular] back then. Songs like “Walang Iba”. So that’s what we played before.

And then at night, it was time for dancing. We had a practice session from 5pm to 9pm or 10pm. So yeah, I got into dancing a lot again.

Dougbrock: So [you] really did both simultaneously. From being just an extracurricular— singing or dancing— to doing both in college. You were playing music during the day, and then practiced dancing at night.

Felip: Right. But I focused more on the dancing. Because it seemed more fun. [I loved] the exhaustion. [That feeling you get when] you and the group are all exhausted and sweaty. I found it amazing that they each did their part really well and synchronized.

Dougbrock: Yeah, maybe the difference with dancing is you’re not alone. You had people to get exhausted and practice with.

Felip: Then I said, “It appears that I get a different kind of joy from dancing compared to music.”

I’m not sure why I used to think that. Perhaps it was because there was a period when I lost interest in music, right? Although dancing also involves music, it’s just- So I did back flips back then too.

Dougbrock: Okay, so you were actually very hyperactive back then, huh?

Felip: I did B-Boying too. So it had- you know when you do freestyle? Then they hype you up, then you dance at the center.

So it’s like, when you’re 17, you want to show off. And [since] I could get a lot more attention in dancing, that’s what [I settled on]. Not to mention, the songs we played were mostly just serenades. So it was apparent that nothing would come out of it. So I focused on dancing. And then here it is…

What happened was I stopped going to school, started skipping.

Dougbrock: Oh no!

Felip: Because all I wanted to do was dance.

Dougbrock: Only dancing all the time.

Felip: So what happened was my parents got mad at me and relocated me to Manila. But all was in vain. So- I got too hooked on dancing and it got to the point where I asked my Dad, “Dad, can I take a break for now?”

Dougbrock: From school.

Felip: [Yes] “From school. I want to dance.” I got surprised because all he said was,

“Okay, do whatever you want to do.”

Dougbrock: Why were you surprised? You didn’t expect it?

Felip: I didn’t expect that he’d let me. I thought he’d get mad. My dad is the best dad I could ever hope for. He’s the one who truly understands me. Perhaps it’s because he sees himself in me.

When my dad and I are together- he’s now back in the Philippines, so I go home [to visit].

Dougbrock: He’s no longer in Malaysia.

Felip: It’s as if we’re simply good friends, almost like siblings. Do you know that feeling? He doesn’t always conform to the typical behaviors of a father, but whenever I have problems, I always call and text him. I confide in him, and he offers advice. That’s when he truly demonstrates what it means to be a real father

So, circling back to the story, I told him, “Dad, I want to take a break for now. I want to dance.” And he agreed. So I continued dancing, endlessly.

Dougbrock: Where were you? Manila?

Felip: Yes, I was in Manila. I continued dancing and stopped going to school, even though that was the purpose of my stay in Manila. So my mom got extremely angry at that time while my dad was okay with it. Consequently, I began staying out until the early hours of the morning.

Dougbrock: Since there’s no more school.

Felip: No more school, just dancing. And then that was it. My mom insisted I move back home to the province. She said, “Maybe you should just get a job.” I replied, “But I want to go back to school.”

They didn’t allow me this time. So I pleaded, “I want to go to school, I want to finish,” and I promised them that I would complete my education.

Dougbrock: Yeah because they even moved you to Manila, and you still didn’t straighten up.

Felip: Yeah, I didn’t. So I was in the rural area again. So I had no friends and no dance.

Dougbrock: Life suddenly slowed down.

Felip: Shucks, I was at a loss there. I spent the whole day doing nothing, no cell signal. It felt like hell to me because I had been exposed to a life in Manila. It was such a different world. I stayed there for about a year, I think. My grandma covered for my school expenses. I studied for almost a year while back home. That time when I just got back, I wasn’t doing anything for several months. So I was fortunate that a school accepted me even though I enrolled late. So I went to school.

Let me skip to the good part.

It reached a point where I was contacted by one of my current group mates from SB19, Josh. He asked, “Hey, do you want to join our group? Because I know a company that’s forming one.”

Dougbrock: Wait, how did you meet Josh?

Felip: Oh right, I kind of skimmed over it.

Dougbrock: I got confused, Josh suddenly appeared!

Felip: While I was dancing in Manila, I was part of a group, and we were contenders. Their group was strong, so they consistently outperformed us.

So even after I returned home, we stayed in touch. I resumed my studies at home, and then he reached out to me, “Yo”- because he knew I could also sing, having seen the covers I posted on Facebook.

At that point, we were friends. He asked, “Hey, do you want to join? We’re forming a boy group.” I thought to myself, “This is new, kind of like K-Pop, you could say.”

I asked, “How many of us are there?” He replied, “For now, there are 4, so we need 1 more.” I said, “My voice is deep, man.” He said, “It’s okay, we’re missing that. All of us have high voices.”

It’s true, he said that.

Dougbrock: Wait, what’s this? You guys competed against each other in dancing, but he also sings and has a high voice?

Felip: Josh is more into rapping than singing, but yes he was also a dancer.

Dougbrock: Right, and you guys competed.

Felip: [The group was composed of- ] He said, “We have a dancer here, also someone who is good at writing songs, and someone who is really really good at singing. So everyone has their own role, you could say.”

Dougbrock: Forte.

Felip: Yes, their own forte, “And we need someone with a deep voice, and I know you have one,”— since I was into posting covers.

So yeah, he chose me. Actually, he mentioned that he reached out to a lot of people, but I was the only one who responded. I said yes to his offer. I said, “Is this serious? What company?” So he told me which company.

Dougbrock: But you were in Zamboanga at the time.

Felip: I was in Zamboanga at the time. I truly had no money. So he said, “This is actually real, promise! Come here”. I thought, “Is this serious? Maybe it’s a scam.”

Dougbrock: Sorry, what year is this?

Felip: This was in 2017, I believe. Yeah, 2017. Then I told my grandma, “Lola, there’s this opportunity, and they want to cast me as an actor”. That’s how I put it, as an actor. Because in the province, if you mention, “They want to cast me as an actor,” it would pique their interest.

Dougbrock: [They’d] agree right away.

Felip: [My grandma said] “But you have exams soon!” It was April at the time, and it would be vacation after that, right? So it was our last exam for the last period, and then it would be vacation.

Dougbrock: She was the one paying your tuition.

Felip: She was paying my tuition. It makes sense to just wait and finish, right? It was the last week of the last period, and school would be done. [But] I said, “Lola, please lola. I really really want this”. She said, “You still have exams”. I said, “I feel like I should stop [school]. I’m going to take this risk”. And she said, “What if you get scammed? What will you do? We don’t have money.”

“Auntie is there [Manila], I could live with them”. And she said, “What if you’ll end up being a burden to them?” I said, “I know how to cook, even if it’s just frying. I will clean and wake up early”.

Auntie’s place is small since she’s just renting a tiny apartment.

Dougbrock: So you just really wanted to take the risk.

Felip: I so badly wanted to take the risk, because I thought, “Hmm dancing and singing? I feel like I could do that”.

Dougbrock: Plus it’s a new boy group.

Felip: Yeah, especially since it’s a new boy group, right? So what happened was, my grandma said, “There’s nothing [we can do], we have no money”. And no matter how hard I pushed, there really wasn’t any.

So I told Josh, “Man, I really don’t have any money. I might not be able to come.” He understood and said he would talk to the management. In the meantime, he offered to cover my expenses. Of course, afterwards, if I got accepted and received allowances later on, I’d pay him back little by little for whatever I owed him. So he was the one who booked my ticket to fly to Manila, and I still didn’t have any pocket money.

Dougbrock: Really nothing, huh?

Felip: We really had nothing. I had no money, and it was incredibly challenging because my mother was angry with me.

Dougbrock: You wasted the time.

Felip: Because Ken/Felip dropped out! So I said, “Borrow money from auntie”. She (his grandma) had 500 PHP, then she borrowed 1000 PHP from my auntie. So now I have 1500 PHP (Roughly 27 USD as of today’s conversion from Google Finance).

Dougbrock: This was your grandma?

Felip: This was my grandma. Shout out to my grandma. And yeah, the day came to travel to Manila. I didn’t give my aunt a heads up that I was going to stay with her. I really didn’t. Because if I asked her for permission, she’d definitely say no. So I just traveled there. She wouldn’t be able to refuse because where else would I stay? On the streets?

Read PART 3 here.